In the wake of a crisis, research shows that it takes three to nine months for a person to find their bearings and recalculate a way to get on with their lives.
The truth is, we are all constantly recalculating in one way or the other, and so we are all resilient in that sense. Resilience may be a more underdeveloped skill in some people compared to others, but at the end of the day, we are all capable of showing the greatest proof of resilience -we are still here today…
Sometimes the challenges we are confronted with far exceed our belief of what a difficult time truly is. And so we won’t know how far our elastic can stretch before it snaps until we’re put in that particular situation. The main goal of cultivating resilience is to expand that elasticity so our ‘snapping’ point extends way beyond what we initially started with.
Here are 4 advanced mindset and resiliency tips for success.
No.1: Find the drain to your emotional bathtub
When you go out the door in the morning, you never truly visualize all the obstacles you’re gonna have to face that day.
You know you have to deal with the unexpected, but nothing prepares you for it, because it’s just that … unexpected. The more complex and strenuous it is, the more complicated the recovery will be. Sometimes, you can bounce back very quickly, for example, someone cutting in line while you’re waiting for your coffee. It’s an irritating encounter, but it only lasts a few seconds.
Other times, it’s not so ‘forgettable’ in that sense, making a costly mistake at work, for instance, mismanaging the time you have to bring a project to completion, or being in conflict with another co-worker, etc. You don’t get to walk out of that situation and move on. You don’t get to instantly shake it off either.
What you need to do, in those instances, is to find the drain to your emotional bathtub and unplug it.
The water, which represents all the stressors, worries, fears, and points of pressure, might keep coming on and the tub might not drain very quickly. But unplugging that drain will make sure your emotional bathtub doesn’t overflow.
No.2: Look at difficulties as an opportunity for recalculation
Sometimes you have the utmost certainty in the equation you’re following. You believe that taking a specific action will lead you to your desired destination.
And that works, for the most part. But many people fail to take into account the unpredictable nature of life. They also fail to realize, that some things they simply have no control over, no matter how hard they try. This is what causes all the hurt and pain when following a pursuit they’re passionate about. That suffering can be a great opportunity for recalculation.
Typically, when we make a mistake, we tend to get upset and frustrated with ourselves. Sometimes we even feel angry, embarrassed, and even ashamed.
So, it takes us much longer to mitigate the consequences of that mishap and even longer to move on from it. We’re so obsessed with the problem that it blinds us to all the solutions or routes we could take. Being resilient means you have to give yourself grace at all times, especially in difficult situations.
Recognize those dormant opportunities that could only have stemmed from you making a mistake in the first place and look for the lessons to be learned from that situation. Developing resilience can only happen when you’re able to acknowledge the hurt and pain you feel as an indicative sign to make a positive change in your life.
Suffering is an inherent part of the human level of our existence, but it shouldn’t govern the way we live, nor should it determine the course of our days. When you’re resilient, you’re able to see that suffering from a different angle.
So, it becomes a source of motivation to do better, be better, improve yourself and your circumstances.
No.3: Adopt a mindset of excellence and ownership
Your mindset is fundamental when it comes to developing resilience. It’s what determines how you perceive and deal with difficulties in everyday life.
Your mindset also determines how you approach obstacles that stand in the way of your success.Rather than constantly putting the blame on external factors, you’re able to keep yourself accountable because you know you own your life. And so you can direct your thoughts, feelings, and actions towards the future you want. You also trust yourself and have faith in your abilities to bring that vision into life.
Being resilient allows you to go through the flow rather than with the flow. Resilience instills you with a great sense of confidence knowing that not everything has to be perfect. Because even when things don’t go according to plan, you trust yourself to reassess the situation and find other ways to get to your destination.
No.4: Live your purpose- it’s a journey, not a destination
One of the most common pursuits in life is finding one’s purpose. But the thing is, purpose is not a destination. Purposes should be lived rather than acquired or found.
It’s a journey that allows you to constantly develop, evolve, and flourish as the best version of yourself. Purposes should not be singular either. We’re human beings which means our lives are in a perpetual state of change and fluctuation. We are not stagnant, and we shouldn’t expect our purposes to be either.
Most people feel discouraged when they realize they don’t know what they want. So, they feel guilty because they’re “wasting” their time trying different things and exploring different avenues when they should find one thing, they’re passionate about and stick to it for the rest of their lives. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Being resilient means you’re able to realize the flexibility of your thoughts. So, what you do with your life at a given moment should accommodate the state you’re in. Your purposes change at different times in your life and your goal should be to live your purpose as truthfully as you are able to.
When you’re going through difficult times, it’s reasonable to feel disoriented and exhausted.
It’s also reasonable to question the path you’re currently on. But it’s important that you recognize those feelings as an opportunity for you to recalculate your trajectory so you’re able to find a way, albeit different or unexpected, to get to the outcome you want.
Developing accountability is also an essential part of the process. It’s what pushes you to do a good job and live your purpose rather than simply go with the motions. When you cultivate your resilience, you are also able to see all the brilliant possibilities for you as well as others, possibilities that are often rich in potential, capacity, and hope!